My awakening to readers masochism Spoiler Notice If youre extremely averse to spoilers it may be a good idea to avoid this review. While I wont explicitly describe certain events my words will reveal the kind of story this is which is a spoiler itself. Although I will only spoil as much as necessary to convey the appeal of this singlevolume manga to those who havent read it. Introduction Looking for a fluffy rosy girls love manga? This one is absolutely not for you. I truly hate to rob you of the opportunity to discover the story for yourself but I think a warning is necessary. My first reading was an experience unlike any other largely because I went in unaware of what to expect. However for those sensitive to gore and tragedy this story could be triggering so please stop here if you feel this applies to you. Watashi no Angela depicts a dreamlike encounter in which a woman returns to her apartment to find a beautiful girl sitting on the railing outside. After the woman allows the girl to come inside the girl reveals that she is soon to grow a pair of wings on her back with which she could presumably take flight. As they become closer to each other theyre forced to reckon with the cruel side of love: dependence and the overwhelming fear of loss. Artwork The art cannot be described with such a simple bland word as gorgeous. This may be a doujin but Shinoa eclipses most professional manga artists Im familiar with. The detail in their drawings is beyond stunning. 220https://i.gyazo.com/7f0b3e8603f6db52682082e907bd7988.png In particular I dont believe Ive ever seen such carefullydrawn hair. Every artist has their own passions and I can feel how deeply Shinoa loves each strand atop their characters heads. Its also fascinating how the two are distinguished. The womans disorderly black mess stands in symbolic contrast to the girls light fluffy hair. 220https://i.gyazo.com/32b38652cc4472f37c172dd6fa01d4bd.png Also the girls angel wings are magnificent they have such an elegant contour and a soft feathery texture. Id guess that the idea for this story was born out of Shinoas simple desire to draw a pretty angel and I have zero problems with that. 220https://i.gyazo.com/0e7860f346afdd59e09474cd403c01bf.png Beneath their bangs can be found surprisingly deep and expressive eyes. Even when the characters struggle to communicate with each other their emotions are revealed in their gemlike irises. 220https://i.gyazo.com/d58713b70a3d5c8337e82d6fbce3f0aa.png This manga is a masterclass in luring the reader in. The 3page prologue chapter contains just enough to hook you and the art is key. A few beautiful panels a brief taste of the premise and I was immediately sold on it. Now Id recognize Shinoas distinguished style anywhere. Writing Now weve reached the part where I explain the new term I coined in the review summary: readers masochism. Watashi no Angela lead me to discover this part of myself that I hadnt recognized before. This kind of story has a way of staving away apathy. When you start to feel empty inside reading something that makes you feel so much can be a relief even if those emotions arent necessarily happy. When I read a story I love when it hurts. I want to agonize over it long after I finish sobbing uncontrollably and oh how I did with this one. Shinoas writing is more than enough to live up to their art. Most of this manga is defined by intimate moments between our two nameless characters which offer a glimpse into how their feelings toward each other change as the story progresses. Are you always looking at the sky because youre longing for its embrace? For example we can see their attachment shift from benevolent to something more dark through the subtle ways they talk to each other. In the first chapter their interactions are so warm and flowery the honeymoon phase of the relationship. I want to be there when you grow your wings. Then in the second chapter the tone shifts slowly unveiling the womans deep anxiety. Ill never forget the way I felt at the climax. As soon as I saw that panel I couldnt take my eyes off the pages. I remember being so shaken that I put my hand over my eyes and kept reading through the cracks in my fingers afraid to continue but unable to look away. I will never ever... let you go. Why did this sudden sharp turn work so unbelievably well? Thats because Shinoa kept their cards hidden until that very moment. They placed hints along the way but only enough for the reader to grasp that something had changed after the girl sprouted her wings. It wasnt until the climax that everything made complete sense. This had to be deliberate a conscious writing choice to make the story appear normal until it melts down completely in the coolest way. A side note: when I reread the manga to write this review I picked up on clues to the ending that didnt stand out to me the first time. I always appreciate this type of story that has amazing repeat value. Without spoiling it I really love how the ending is open for interpretation. Some things about the story are nonnegotiable such as the gravity of what happened but there are multiple ways to imagine the characters lives continuing past the end. It could be a question of morals or simply how you perceive the characters feelings. The third chapter the epilogue does a phenomenal job of ending the story in a way that makes you reflect. Conclusion Its only natural that love would be a connecting theme throughout a romance but Watashi no Angela dives headfirst into the deep end. It offers a thoughtful yet gruesome perspective on the way love can bring about paralyzing fear. Theres something deeply poetic in how the woman whose thoughts are conveyed in first person sees the girl as an angel but deprecates herself as a normal human. Its something many couples can relate to putting your partner on a pedestal while they do the same to you. As told by Shinoa love is the messy mixture of all of those feelings: admiration jealousy and everything in between. To me this is a masterpiece. I love the artwork and the multifaceted story but its depth and deception set it apart from the rest. I wouldnt presume to understand all of it there are some parts and symbols that I still havent processed. Regardless it was the manga that inspired me to write my first fulllength review. As I decided to avoid too much spoiling I said less than I wouldve liked to. However one of my goals for this review was to draw more attention to this incredible gem. I hope Ive conveyed my appreciation for it enough to interest you in reading it. If you plan to I hope you enjoy the pain as much as I did.