Dear lord Prima Doll as a show annoyed me so much that I honestly just cant hold my feelings on it back any longer. Boy am I glad to be done with this show. Prima Doll is a new multimedia franchise created by the company Visual Arts/Key who many will know as the people who created beloved visual novels such as Air Kanon Clannad and Little Busters. Theyre still making games to this day and I remember watching the anime adaptations for Air Kanon and Clannad when they came out and loving them though if I were to watch them now its likely my feelings on them will change. But lately Key has wanted to expand their horizons and I can understand wanting to try something new...though multimedia franchises usually dont fare well in this oversaturated market. Yet even by those standards Prima Doll just absolutely screams shameless corporate artifice thats only there to sell products and literally nothing else. Long ago there was a terrible war that ravaged the world where autonomous mechanical robots made to resemble human beings called automata were used as weapons. Now the war has thankfully ended and automata are no longer used for wanton destruction. One establishment the Black Cat Cafe employs automata with the cafes owner Nagi Touma being determined to give them the best life possible. The story is told from the point of view of one automata Haizakura whos as sweet as can be but has no memories of the war and is terribly clumsy. But she settles into life at the cafe nicely making all manner of new friends and searching for her place in an unfamiliar peaceful world alongside those closest to her. Just reading the premise the concept of mechanical dolls being used for violence in an alternate universe steampunk war but searching for a new purpose is very interesting and theres a lot one can do with it. I can definitely get behind using that idea as a backdrop for a more character driven story about what happens when these humanoid robots have to find another function once the fighting is over. Im sure there are probably stories out there that have done just that. I would have loved for Prima Doll to do the same and it seemed like it would...if it werent so determined to be as saccharine treacly and aggressively moe as possible so drenched in a thick layer of early 2000s syrupy sweet moe artifice that Im pretty sure anyone who has diabetes would die just from looking at the character designs and hearing their eargratingly squeaky voices. None of the characters have much in the way of depth and characterization to them other than cute anime girl or the one personality trait they have and the shows attempts at giving them any kind of development just come off as shallow because even then they still resort to insipid tired cliches to force the audience to sympathize with them rather than yknow fleshing them out beyond their most basic character traits. Haizakura in particular is the biggest offender which is really bad since shes the main character. She is so cloying and irritatingly cutesy with the show trying so hard to make you like her and see her as sooooo pwecious with her overly pink design inability to carry out even the most basic tasks and gurgling Myuuu every time she screws up like an idiot. And no her being a robot only marginally excuses this but the story doesnt bother to even do that much with her. The characters are so devoid of any depth to them that its practically impossible to care about them. Seriously it says a lot that a Pokemon short film managed to give its characters more depth personality and nuance in 13 minutes than this show could ever hope to do in 12 episodes. The pisspoor writing even extends to the overall story as well. Prima Dolls biggest problem is that its convinced its great at tragedy and pathos when anyone with half a brain can see its attempts at doing so for the halfassed empty shallow tragedy porn that it is. Its trying way too hard to make the audience want to sympathize with its characters begging you to shed tears like its trying to beat you with a hammer and shouting at you FEEL SAAAAAAD Especially in episode 1 where the main conflict is a little girl reuniting with her beloved caretaker automata only for it to be revealed that the robot in question is losing her memories similar to a grandmother going through dementia and possibly dying. Whats the shows solution to this problem? Instead of explaining to the child that their caretaker is suffering from a mental diseaseor in this case malfunctioningand working to manage the situation as best they can the show decides to flat out lie to the child by saying the robot is going on a trip and then lock her away in the basement which is basically the equivalent of telling a kid that their grandmother is going on a trip putting her in a medically induced coma and locking her in a hospital room forever. This is pretty shitty if you use your brain cells but the show makes it seem like the right thing to do complete with cheesy music and overwrought monologues from Haizakura utterly convinced its pulling every heartstring on the planet and as a result any emotional beats the episode tries to hit fall completely flat on their face. Because of the terrible execution the shows moral comes off more like keep the dying or mentally enfeebled away and hide hard truths from children. Blegh. Bite me. This shallow meanspiritedness doesnt stop there either. In episode 2 when Gekka tells Haizakura about her experiences in the war and how it affected her Haizakura in her infinite wisdom just...tells Gekka to get over it. Like what? She goes into a cutesy wootsy monologue about how Gekka can shape her life how she wants to after the war now that shes no longer fighting and the show wants us to agree with her but the way the show depicts Haizakura in that scene makes her come off as incredibly insensitive in how she just flatout dismisses Gekkas very traumatizing war experiences treating them like a switch she can just turn off and on. Thats like telling a Holocaust survivor who lost their family and developed PTSD and health issues to just forget everything and move on not taking into account how theyre probably going to need therapy counseling and medical help for the rest of their life. The story itself has barely any stakes or tension and you can predict every single story beat coming from a mile away. Oh and do I even need to mention the utter trainwreck thats episode 6? Way to shoehorn in barely disguised nudity involving underagelooking girls and shoving them in skimpy outfits producers Oh and I feel really bad for the voice actresses being made to overact and push their voices to almost unsustainable levels here. Because we cant have cute anime girls without making them sound like fiveyearolds right? And dear lord Chiyos voice actress in particular plays her with the most earsplittingly chirpy chipmunk squeak that Im pretty sure would break your ear drums. As someone with auditory sensory processing issues due to being autistic Chiyos voice really grated on my ears and I cant imagine it being a pleasant experience for others either. I heard somebody else criticizing Misaki Kuno in another show she was in and at first I thought they were exaggerating with how bad her voice was but...after hearing it here I totally understand now. Its not the worst forced voice Ive heard Looking at you Hikaru from Star Twinkle Pretty Cure but its up there. Misaki Kuno is much better taken in small doses and...this is not one of her better performances by a long shot. I will say Prima Doll does have one thing going for it in this regard: Im glad they didnt have Ayumu Murase pitch his voice so high that he sounds like a broken Elmo toy. Thank God. But considering this show in general thats not saying much. Honestly the shows only real redeeming qualities are the animation and parts of the soundtrack. Bibury Animation has made several anime such as The Quintessential Quintuplets Grisaia Phantom Trigger Azur Lane and Black Rock Shooter Dawn Fall. Their work here is...alright. The backgrounds are nicely detailed without being overbearing and I do like the shows aesthetic of steampunk with kimonos. I want to like the character designs but the main robot girls look more like overly designed plastic toys than anything else and the show makes it clear its mainly there to look pretty and sell products. The animation is at the very least competent and does its job. I admit this is the first show Ive seen that Bibury produced so I cant comment on how it is compared to their other work. The background music is fine but not very memorable and many of the songs are well sung. Well any song thats not Haizakuras unbearable squeaking that is. Not gonna lie Houkiboshi has the best song in the whole ensemble with Karasubas coming a close second. At this point youre probably wondering Wait Julia. If you hate this show so much why are you rating it higher than stuff like Lapis Re:Lights or Japan Sinks? For the former several reasons. One: Prima Doll doesnt have 24 main characters to follow so its not as cluttered as Lapis Re:Lights is for what little thats worth. Two: as uninteresting as Prima Dolls story is it at least has the wherewithall to adhere to its own rules and make sure its lore is consistent instead of going out of its way to contradict them for its own convenience. Three: Theres no creepy siscon girl who gets off on stealing her younger sisters panties. Petty reasons? Probably. I dont know. At this point Im grasping at straws to find anything even remotely positive to say about Prima Doll. In the case of Japan Sinks it promised a realistic character drama with a disaster backdrop but massively jumped the shark was littered with pointless subplots its characters were inconsistent and deplorable and its animation was terrible. Plus as onenote as the characters are Karasuba was my favorite out of them even though shes supposed to be seen as the Negative Nancy whos constantly exasperated by Haizakuras uselessness though I actually sympathized with Karasuba because her concerns about Haizakura were absolutely valid. So yeah most of my ratings are based on my own feelings thoughts and personal preference. But yeah the few positives Prima Doll has absolutely cannot make up for the huge flaws holding it back. I really wanted to like this show I really did. I never go into something wanting to hate it. But dear lord Prima Doll was an absolute chore for me to go through. In the end the shows just not for me. Is it somebodys cup of tea? Sure. If you like it more power to you. Theres probably a ton of stuff out there involving sentient robots that tackle this premise way better. Prima Doll is not one of them and for anyone who cant handle over the top saccharine moeness youd best steer clear. Prima Doll is the very essence of cloying capitalism cold soulless and calculated cynically produced by a production committee for the purpose of corporate satisfaction and nothing else.