One time I kneed myself in the eye trying to do a pushup. Specifically an aztec pushup. Ive always been comically clumsy. In highschool some dudes tried to bully me by nicknaming me Goofy which didnt really work out because I liked it and it made my otherwise shitheaded smartaleckiness endearing to some very pretty girls. It was a real doofus moe gap type thing that I didnt know how to take advantage of because I was an eggy little queer who aspired for some weird frat broy aesthetic that was completely outside of my reach. This clumsy bitter goblin schtick is no doubt part of what I hope is the more sincere presentation of myself I put forward today. There was a lot to regret about my teenage years like anyone else but I have the distance now to appreciate how much of a doofus I was. Itai Oneesan wa Suki desu ka? is about loving doofuses. The manga is full of people who cant help but watch Itai Shiori a grownass woman fuck up constantly. When it comes to someone who is comically pathetic the pity you feel can sometimes warp into this almost paternalistic sadism. You see a kitten run into a wall too hard and you might find it precious instead of sad. You of course dont necessarily want the kitten to suffer but there is a perverse affection in your reaction to the accident. You cant help it. You love them so it rules when they fuck up. This certainly isnt unheard of in manga. Its the backbone of a certain type of Slice of Life. What Itaisan does particularly well is showing the people pulled into this losers orbit. It reveals how her constant failures dont make her life any smaller than the lives of those around her. Peoples lives are small. Ambitious people are small in ways the unambitious arent. Successful people find themselves lonely because they misunderstand how big a life can become. This isnt to say that lives cant improve but rather that the idea of a good life or even an interesting one is murky. Itai Shiori is not happy with her constant disheveling and it would be dishonest of me to say that shes happier than those around her. Neither I nor the manga is so flippant as to say the constant often hilarious mishaps in her life dont cause her genuine moments of despair. I was struck by the occasional tonal whiplash of being reminded that she is a human being that she wants to be loved and respected. There are moments of sadness that help build the framework of a more honest joy. The actual premise discussed at the beginning of the series is that Itaisan is frustrated with her complete inexperience with romance. She just wants to be an OL who falls in love with a young coworker or something or other. Shes just too much or a weirdo to figure out what shes doing wrong. Its a classic story about confidence and building it through friendships and mutual embarrassment. In that sense the story is especially sweet allowing its side characters to have brief moments of lucidity before defaulting back to their cartoonish preoccupation with our heroine. With their relapse we also get to flatten our heart to the simple joy of watching her be the biggest loser in the universe.