I am just reading way too many good manga. Like I feel like Im losing credibility as a reviewer since the last 3 manga I read were 10s for me including this one. I need to read some more trash to cleanse myself. I do think it was nice to read an otome isekai again since I feel like I havent reviewed a reincarnation isekai in forever and this story was just that good. Its portrayal of trauma and its effects is super interesting and adds a lot to the manga. Our protagonist has reincarnated as the villainess of a novel Rudbeckia de Borgia who is killed by her husband Iske van Omerta. She was abused in her past life by her socialite family but she finds that her new life in the de Borgia family as the daughter of the Pope is no different. When she enters an arranged marriage with Iske she gets the chance to leave her abusive family behind but she must enter a relationship and live with the man who will one day end her life. In order to survive Rudbeckia must convince Iske and everyone in his family that shes not a threat. I always appreciate it when these types of series reference the characters past lives often. Rudbeckia who I will refer to as Ruby for the rest of the review since her nickname is more convenient and easier for me to write has very intense memories of her past life which helped build who she is at the start of the manga. She questions why she even wants to survive and why her survival instincts kick in since she wanted to die in her past life and her current life is no different. She has had an eating disorder in both lives because food is the only thing she can control and the only thing she can depend on. From her beloved sisters suicide in her previous life to the beatings she receives from her creepy brother I cannot even fathom the amount of hopelessness Ruby feels. The narration of the story is very skewed. Ruby is in denial of her severe PTSD since she was never allowed to show that anything is wrong with her and she deals with her trauma the way she deals with her abuse burying it and pretending shes fine. Ruby is an unreliable narrator. After all the horrible things she endured she couldnt fathom anyone taking her side. She believes everyone is against her and that she must put on acts to prevent them from killing her. She interprets everything anyone says to her in the worst possible way since thats what shes used to. Theres a reason this is called How to Win My Husband Over or How to Get My Husband on My Side depending on the translation. She doesnt believe anyone is on her side so she just tries to endear herself to other people in the hopes they wont abuse or kill her. She perceives Iske as worse than he is. His resting bitch face is seen as intentional targeted glares at Ruby. His cold and emotionless exterior is seen as contempt for her. He does do and say rude and terrible things in the beginning but we see his perspective and he grows as a person. He has his own trauma even if it wasnt as explored as Rubys due to the story mostly being told through her lens. His family was broken and he and his sister had to live with their mothers emotional instability depression and body image issues from an early age to the point where she threatened to kill herself in front of everyone if his sister spoke a word about her condition. Both he and his sister are emotionally stunted in a variety of ways and emotional expression is completely foreign to them. I wonder what else happened to make Iske turn out this way. This is all about the relationship between two struggling individuals and how they move past their trauma as they fall in love. Iskes character development was the catalyst for a real relationship to develop since a big part of it was him figuring out that Ruby was traumatized and putting the little hints she dropped together. When he becomes more conscious of his actions and when Ruby figures out that he doesnt have ill intent they begin to break through to each other and build a relationship. I know the chapters Ive read are just the tip of the iceberg and a lot more seems to go on in the novels from the reactions I saw. One of my friends and the author of the other How to Win My Husband Over review read the novels and made me super curious about what happens. The art is gorgeous. Everyone in it has a ridiculously attractive design. Im so jealous of how manageable Rubys hair seems to be. I relate more to Yona from Yona of the Dawn and her frustration with how unruly it can be. The outfits are stunning from the ballgowns to the more practical military designs. We dont talk about Iskes ridiculously impractical spy outfit that he wears to the banquet. I was actually laughing. I feel like so much emotion is conveyed and I think its generally spectacular with its character designs. This manhwa is just beautifully written and I think it provides an intense and intimate view of a character with intense trauma and PTSD. It also has a carnivorous Totoro in it so thats just bonus points Theres so much to love about this but that list doesnt include Rubys creepy possessive brother who is reeeally reminding me of certain Roxana characters... I think the emotional complexity and impact of the story and art has me enthralled and I am excited to see more of what this story has to offer when its completed.