Jun Sakurada is a teenage boy who has left school and refuses to leave the house. Hes doted on hand and foot by his older sister Nori who he lives with. You know because this is an anime and teenage protagonists living with their parents would just be heresy. He occupies his time by ordering a bunch of junk online using it briefly and then returning it just in time to exploit Japans cooling off period law. One day he receives an offer that asks him one simple question: Will you wind it or wont you? He clicks yes out of bored curiosity and not long after a suitcase appears on his floor containing a beautiful blonde balljoint doll in a red southern belle dress. He winds this doll as per his promise and is shocked when it actually wakes up and starts talking to him It I mean she Introduces herself as Shinku the fifth in a series of magical Rozen Maiden dolls and hes been selected to be her servant With this haughty totty ordering him around and a bunch of other dolls arriving at his house via airmailI mean that literally they crash through his window will this hikikomoris0 life ever be the same? Or will it forever be changed by his involvement with these dueling dolls and their mysterious Alice Game? When I first watched Rozen Maiden I wasnt very impressed by the animation quality but I was willing to give it a pass After all as dated as it looked it was probably one of the better looking shows of the late nineties right? But then I saw online that it came out in 2004 and I sat there in a stunned silence until I came across the name Studio Nomad and I understood a little better. See Nomad is a studio comprised of former Madhouse and Pierrot staff and neither of those companies have ever really been anywhere near the forefront of production quality especially back in the early aughts. I reviewed a Pierrot title a while backTwelve Kingdoms and while I gave it an 8/10 in general the animation was one of the few factors that kept it from getting the higher score that I wanted to give it. And Rozen Maiden just happens to have been the first outing for Studio Nomad which just makes matters even less promising. The animation isnt what Id call ugly Trust me were nowhere near a Deen or Xebec level of bad But it doesnt take a trained eye to see how low their budget must have been. Character movements are jerky and clunky and they can look offmodel in several shots. The visual direction is pretty good as the people in charge of this were clearly trying to make their product look better than it was destined to look but there was only so much they could do with it. The only time the animation really starts to impress is during the fight scenes Yes these balljoint dolls fight each other and its as awesome as it sounds So Ill give them credit for that. The action when its happening is kinetic and a lot of fun to watch. The artwork however is really weird in its presentation. For the parts of the story that take place in the dream world the visuals are striking highly imaginative and full of very beautiful very tonally appropriate imagery and I loved watching the characters interacting with these lovingly crafted environments. In the real world however its nowhere near as interesting. Theres a lot of detail to be sure but it still feels kind of lifeless and flat and the characters just feel tacked on like stickers on a television screen. The character designs are pretty neat though especially with the dolls whos colors schemes and outfits say a lot about their personalities and dispositions. As for the English dub Woof. This is easily one of the more annoying ones Ive had the chance to hear. That might just be me though The main two actors are Mela Lee and Mona Marshall who were both highly prevalent at the time of this dubs release and Im not a fan of either of them. I dont think Ill draw much ire for putting down Mela Lee whos voice just sounds like the audio equivalent of Splenda in most of her roles but I might just be angering a substantial fandom when I place Marshall in the same ballpark. So let me explain. I respect Monas body of work I mean how can you not respect somebody whos played more cartoon characters than Daws Butler and Mel Blanc combined? And she has a very impressive amount of range and talent but when shes playing young boys shes about as convincing as Zac Efron in The Lorax. I didnt mind it as much in Wolfs Rain as he was kind of a quiet character but as Jun her voice is just all over the place. Its the one kind of role I never really like her in and to say shes worse than Mela Lee in this dub just sounds excessively cruel But its true. The rest of the cast isnt any better as they seem to range from soft and screechy to soft and waify. At least Sherry Lynn sounds like shes having fun as Hina Ichigo but Mela Lees performance in the role of Shinku just sounds like shes reading her lines off of a cue card. Which is a shame because she nailed the characters upper crust accent. The only real saving grace of the dub is Karen Strassman in the role of Suiginto the villain of the series. While the original seiyuu did sound creepy and sinister Strassman actually kind of outperforms her adding layers of bitter pain and jealousy to the mix. Which is great because as we find out thats exactly the kind of jilted antagonist she is. Unfortunately one solid performance is not enough to base a recommendation on so Im going to have to call sub over dub on this one. The music while serviceable is still pretty generic and repetitive with standard plinky sliceoflife tunes dominating most of the soundtrack and an instrumental version of the opening being thrown in for a lot of the action scenes. When talking about the story and writing of Rozen Maiden there are three different sides to it that need to be examined. The first one is the main plot revolving around Suiginto and The Alice Game. It can be a little confusing if youre not paying attention but the goal of the game is apparently to be the first doll who meets Father the man who created them. This plot is the reason all of the action in the series exists and with Suiginto at its core it also gives the series a pretty solid intimidating antagonist. It creates some very high stakes not only for the few dolls you actually care about but for their human masters as well And even for Suiginto. The problem is that when you get right down to it the villain is the only character who actually wants something to happen. Im not a fan of main characters whos only goal is to preserve the status quo and live a peaceful life and the entire cast doesnt want anything other than to exist. It makes it kind of hard to root for them because when nothings happening The second side of the story is my least favorite of the three and its exactly the kind of story most of the characters would like to have. Its the sliceoflife side. About half of the series screen time is centered around Jun Nori and the dolls just hanging around the house and interacting with each other. Id be lying if I said nothing funny happened here An early gag with Shinku and the toilet had me in stitches But for the most part this show just isnt very funny. The jokes are either repetitive or just way too drawnout and some of the material is just plain painful. And then you have shorelines like the Snow White rehearsal which was about as pointless as leveling Aeris in FF7 unless youre actually invested in the romance between Jun and Shinku. Speaking of which the comedy isnt the only thing wrong with the sliceoflife side of the story. The other giant problem I had with this show Which I didnt fully understand until my second viewing over the course of this week Is that it is in essence an elaborate pedophile fantasy. Yeah I know Im going into lunatic Nancy Grace territory here but hear me out Take away the fact that Shinku and her friends are animated dolls and Rozen Maiden becomes the kind of series that could most easily be described as a harem where all the options are little girls. They seem to match the loli stereotypes too You have the precocious one the tsundere one the shy waify one and the hyper Genki one. Its like a weird combination of Love Hina and Strawberry Marshmallow. And before you start telling me that Im looking too far into it and its not real loli because the characters in question arent biological humans Id like to point out two things. First of all the lolis in UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie werent human but the show was still really damn creepy. Theyre not human is just a halfassed excuse. And second of all these characters dont really feel like dolls They move independently of their ball joints to the point that I have to wonder why they have them in the first place and theyre biological enough to get hungry eat and taste what theyre eating. Taking those facts into account along with the unsettling level of sexual tension between Jun and Shinku and its really hard to hold onto the illusion that these characters really are just walking balljoint dolls. The guy takes care of a bunch of little girls setting is there so the viewer can imagine himself in Juns shoes and your imagination is exactly where all the debauchery that would never be presented on screen is intended to happen and with unnecessary suggestive moments like the laundry episode lingering about theyre pretty freaking transparent about it. The final side of the story is my favorite one and its the development of Jun Sakurada as a character. Rozen Maiden was one of the first stories to try and tackle a Hikikomori character alongside Chobits and Welcome to the NHK and it takes a much different approach from those other two. This parts a bit spoilery. Rather than being a failed college student or a paranoid drug addict Jun is much more relatable in his circumstances. He was a very impressive student standing tall as one of the best in his grade but the attention this got him Remember kids Japanese schools post your grades on the wall for everyone to see Wound up leaving a lot of pressure on his shoulders with both teachers and students talking him up as a prodigy despite the fact that they only knew him through the pedestal that they were all placing him on. So when he finally started to cave under the pressure and get bad grades the backlash was unbearable. In addition he was starting to get teased over his sewing prowess and it all just crushed him causing him to have a mental break down and hole himself up in his room. Its some fairly compelling stuff and the way hes portrayed whenever he faces the idea of going back there is very strong. It unfortunately culminates in a scene with his sister where she says some things that Lets see how spoilery do I want to get here Well she gives him a tearful emotional pep talk that not only misses the entire point of his character but it honestly sounds like shes trying to make him feel even more guilty than he already feels. She tells him No youre not a horrible person for inconveniencing us we feel like horrible people for not being able to fix you Great so youre trying to make him feel better by telling him ANOTHER negative impact he had on your lives? Geez with a sister like you who needs social anxiety? Oh and at one point she totally also has a sex dream about him. Make of that what you will. I have a theory about this show and its based solely on season 1 Which is all Ive seen so far. My theory is that the dolls arent actually real. He ordered them online in the order and pace that they arrived and is only imagining the interactions and stories hes having with them. And his sister His dear sister who loves him and would do anything for him Is playing along having tea parties and elaborate fantasy play sessions with his little brother and his dolls all while she wonderswhenever shes alone with Shinku whether or not shes doing the right thing by enabling him. That would explain why she never has as animated a reaction to the dolls as he does. Its kind of a spitball theory and theres no real evidence for it but try watching the show while thinking about it It actually kind of makes the series better. Rozen Maiden was originally available from Geneon which of course means the original ballsexpensive DVDs are out of print. Its currently available from Sentai Filmworks and at this point there are several different DVD sets you can buy I dont think its available on Bluray outside of Japan though. Personally Id recommend the 2011 Sentai box set which includes this season plus the second season and a 2 episode OVA. Its only five disks and its relatively cheap but it comes with the disks stacked on top of each other on a single spindle. Its possible to accidentally crack the disks while pulling them out so moving them to a safer case is probably a good idea. In addition to the second season and OVAs there was also a new season in 2013 that was actually dubbed by Sentai so Im expecting a better dub in that set Or at least I was until I saw that Nancy Novotny was playing Nori. Because Ew. My least favorite character played my least favorite actor. THATs gonna be a fun review. In any case all four iterations of the franchise are available for streaming on Crunchyroll. While I cant say Id really recommend this series I havent watched the other seasons yet so my opinion might change It wasnt really a bad anime either. Its kind of a mixed bag. It has more than its fair share of problems especially in terms of its production values and obvious loliharem leanings but theres also a lot of things to love about it. While the art itself is hit or miss the art design is really strong and the visuals and imagery can be downright beautiful. Its a very cute show very well paced and while its not for me the effectiveness of the humor will vary from viewer to viewer. Fans of BallJoint dolls are going to love it to death and understandably so as I dont think there are any other shows that feature that interest as prominently. I didnt really enjoy it but I can see why a lot of people would which is why Im going to give Rozen Maiden a 6/10.