Popotan is a 2003 anime series about three magical sisters and their maid who travel through time and space in their mysterious enchanted house. Every time their house phases out of the physical realm it jumps into the future by about five years finding a new location with an ample supply of dandelions for the girls to extract more magic from. They can communicate with these dandelions but they also make time to communicate with the people They live in whatever area the house landed in carrying on normal lives in society until they need to leave again. Why dont they wait for Dandelions to die and be replaced by new ones which should happen in fairly quick succession considering the short life span of a dandelion? Well lets not get ahead of ourselves. Our main character at least in the anime is Mei the middle child. Shes a tomboy as well as the emotional center of the story who is always forming the tightest social connections outside of the family. Her insistence that they should quit their journey and settle down leads us to several revelations throughout the show and while Im glad they used this plot device instead of endless exposition dumps its still generally information that they And we as well Should have known from the beginning. Her older sister Ai has giant breasts and glasses. And She probably has some sort of personality. Her little sister Mii is a hyper little moppet who loves dressing up as a magical girl and is obsessed with poofypoofies. She likes to snuggle Ais poofypoofies and makes remarks about Meis poofypoofies being too small. Ill give you five seconds to figure out what poofypoofies are and if it actually takes you that long you should go bash your head against something. Theyre looked after by their devoted maid Maya a longsuffering sarcastic woman who cares deeply about her charges. A lot of people theorize that shes a robot but since shes shown eating takeout on camera Id say thats unlikely. So based on what Ive just told you youre probably expecting me to say that Popotan is some dumb wacky little comedy. I mean with the Drifting Classroom style house the dandelionflavored plot and the cliched characters you probably expect this to be full of wacky randomness in the vein of Magical Play. After all thats why Magical Play works It has a quick pace and the jokeaminute delivery fits the gleefull randomness to a T. The truth is Popotan isnt like that at all. The pacing is slow the story is played completely straight and the tone of the series is more along the lines of sentimental and atmospheric. This is a great choice of execution for a serious comingofage story like Beck but when juxtaposed with Popotans ridiculous Everything Its not so much a match made in heaven as it is a match made in Shou Tuckers basement. When you combine this tonedeaf approach with the constant fanservice Popotans attempts at emotional depth just come off as incompetent insincere melodrama. Speaking of which when I was only halfway through this show I noticed that MAL listed it as Rated R for mild nudity and I flipped out in the forums. Compared to Popotan the average Playboy magazine only has mild nudity. There is at least one bath scene in every episode and all four of our main characters As well as several side characters Get in on the action. And theres no convenient fog here folks oh no. Every single nipple is meticulously and painstakingly drawn in even for the little girl Mii. Dont get me wrong Im no prude I love Strike Witches and even have a soft spot for the clunky This Ugly Yet Beautiful World Gainax pretense be damned. Those shows have more to offer than just nudity which I cant honestly say about Popotan. The nudity really is the only thing this show has to offer and even taking that into consideration the characters are so poorly designed and badly drawn that its like looking at a horny twelveyearolds sketchbook. And thats saying nothing about how creepy the fanservice is. This shows pedophile vibe is so intense that it makes UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie look innocent by comparison. The artwork and animation suck I wont go any deeper than that just trust me and the stories of the individual episodes arent just badly written but in a way that could actually be considered dangerously irresponsible with the message they try to send. The relationships that our cast form are sophomoric at best and unhealthy at worst. The strongest relationship that Mii forms Aside from her metafictional relationship with pedophilic viewers Is with a little Shinto girl who wants to celebrate Christmas. The idea on its own doesnt sound like anything bad but the way its pursued is bafflingly ignorant. The strongest relationship that Ai forms is with a little boy whom she bathes naked with and then kisses full on the mouth later on. And the strongest relationship that Mei forms is so deeply wrapped up in contradictory bullshit and disturbingly damaged human behavior that Id have to spend an entire paragraph of spoilers just to explain whats wrong with it. And on top of that get this: We never find out anything about the plot. We never learn basic pieces of information like how the girls got their powers why they decided to start traveling what theyre trying to accomplish The only answer you ever get is a big fat play the game to which I can only respond screw you. You should never have to check out the source material just to enjoy the adaptation. That is the absolute worst kind of crutch a story can lean on. If I had to say some positive things about this show I can name three off the top of my head. 1: Anna Cummer does a decent job playing the voice of Maya. Its a subtle and nuanced performance but if Im being honest somebody more talented like Michelle Ruff would have blown her completely out of the water. Then again compared to the rest of her costars Anna might as well BE Michelle Ruff. 2: There are a handful of ways this show could have been worse. 3: Umm I think I may have grossly overestimated my capacity for complimenting this show. All in all I would rather kill myself with a spoon than recommend this show to anybody. Even if it doesnt offend the everloving daylights out of you theres nothing good about it At all. In fact the only reason my friends are currently borrowing my soontobe destroyed copy is because they asked for it to see what kind of series could piss me off this much. Popotan is just so insidiously bad that it may actually be bad FOR you as a person. Over the years Ive given a handful of 1/10 reviews with my general reason being that as crappy as they are theres something good about them Maybe theres a decent voice cast or a few good characters or some good action or maybe its just so hilariously bad that it would be fun to watch while drunk. But Popotan is just a dreary offputting experience that I cant imagine any amount of alcohol saving. For the first time in my reviewing career Im giving Popotan a 0/10. Avoid at all costs and youll thank me later.